Saturday, December 09, 2006

the end of a curse

this time it has to be...four years i have lurched in oblivion wondering if ever I would be able to get that confidence back....the confidence to get that red leather across that intimidating green turf ...and this sunday i got it back....I remember how 4 years back I had struggled to do that....just the evening before the final test, I was in the nets bowling,jumping and brimming with confidence...little I have realised all is going to shatter the very next the day arrived...the sun had started heating up that cold winter morning and we were ready to go and kill...we got to field first and I was the opening bowler...the first over went good...just 2 runs...the trouble started in the very next over....first ball wide....second wide...third noball...fourth full toss and six on that....suddenly i felt weak in hands...the ball was just not going straight...i tried to reduce the speed but to no avail...i had known that there was serious problem....every trick was boomeranging on confidence had hit rock captain came to pacify me ...i was told to give a slow ball but no was a nightmare....finishing the over had become a herculean task...never before i was challenged in this way...there was nothing left for me in the match....only embarrasment...i was made a joke...i dont think anyone in the history of IIT match has bowled an over of 21 balls...finally it got over and i was sent to third man...i didn't do anything that day though we won the match...i didn't play any cricket match for my hostel team after down I was in confidence that it seems I would never ba able to bowl again.... But,finally this got over this sunday when i went to play a match ....this time i went with a cool headed determined mind but with no overconfidence....I reached early there and went straight to the middle pitch as if saying today I will conquer you...I bowled 4 overs without any wides or no balls ,claiming 2 wickets.My sporting identity got another life....finally the curse was over....

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

blogging - what happens to my diary??

finally, at last after so much pondering and thought rendering i am entering into the big unknown world of blogging and yet i haven't decided what to write...though to maitain the sanctity of bloggers I will have to put in some scrap so I have decided to scratch this word called 'blogging'..I want to know why even so reluctant and shy guys, like me are attracted to this thing called 'blogging'....sure there is some mystical charm around this word that even the person of my nature who for years, have surreptitiously hidden their obscure thoughts from even themselves are enthused to unlock them and with so much aplomb....but what exactly is so enigmatic about it...
as i wrote about it,I decided to do some flashback and saw myself writing in my hidden diary(which to date i am scared of opening in public) the secret moments of my life which were and are so private to me....i remember how scared i got with the thought of being caught writing something like a diary....but guess what I am doing now-baring my all thoughts open to has this irony come into picture....surely it would be childish to blame the surgence of internet for it....infact what i beleive it that there was always an element of public display in us, wihch though lying dormant for several years had suddenly found a way to unreveal itself through net
and it is this vicarious pleasure we get by blogging...the sheer feeling of deriving pleasure and satisfaction by having our thoughts read by someone is so germane to us bloggers that it tempts us to blog,to write all what we feel ...may be the kind of life we are living is one possible reason for this ewnly found resurrection,the pressure of living in a fast paced complex modern society had pushed us to the very edge of our own limits...we are becoming isolated and may be through blogging we are trying to make some virtual bond with fellow bloggers because in reality there is no time for real thought sharing...but what ever the reason may be,if blogging can be so much releiving then why not do it...though I admit it can never replace the secret of joy of writing diaries and revisiting them years later...thats the dilemma of modern day blogging.