Wednesday, July 04, 2007

...nani left for abode

Finally the day arrived in most unsuspecting circumstances....generally for a person in her mid nineties one would have some premonition but my grand nanny was an exception....even at an age of 95 she was as active as any youngster of my age......just few hours before her demise we were sitting in the vasant kunj home sipping tea and nanny in her usual self talking and babbling .Such was her energy at this age that she could just chatter and chatter whole day without stopping.So without suspecting anything I took her blessings and started for railway station as I was taking a week break from the office.The train was on time and my coach was half occupied.Soon I fall asleep in the cool environs of air conditioners.The train reached haridwar and I started off to rishikesh...the bus didn't took more than 30 minutes and in a short time i was knocking at the came out with swollen eyes and it was there she told me that your 'nani' is no more...suddenly the time stopped for me and for first few moments I could not believe that the same woman who was part of my life for so long is no more.
I sat aghast, my all sleep evaporated...just few hours ago I was talking to her and now she is no it cruel on gods part to me or I am simply getting too much emotional. Soon the reality dawned and I got more composed. The past moments came floating in my had been nearly 20 years that i had known her...from the very first time I learned my first steps holding her hand to all those nights she used to sit by my bedside when I was down with fever ...everything starts coming to front and I wistfully longed for all those bygone years.
Now I was going to the cremation ground and for the first time I hadn’t that sinking feeling which I used to associate with cremations…there was some kind of divine force acting which was continuously pushing me to do all this…all the rituals were performed and I was all part of it. The sky has turned black and we feared it might rain. Fortunately everything went fine and I saw the nani’s face for the last time….in a few moments she was all in flames.I could feel the heat of pyre on my face and could heard the crackling sounds coming from the burning of log….the incense emanating from materials put into the pyre and the heat of it was too overpowering for anyone to come close to the fire…..Slowly the body disappeared and all was left after three hours was a black mass of charred flesh not bigger in size than a baseball….it was cruel to see but that’s the end everyone has to go through.Now as I sit and contemplate the proceedings of that day I could only marvel at the god’s way of doing the balancing act.Nothing is supreme.Whoever has come has to go.Such is the strange journey called life whom everyone wants to enjoy but doesn’t want to reach destination.The only final destination-death.